5 big errors bring about parent child to communicate suffocate suffocate
From;    Author:Stand originally
Recently, how is Ms. Zhang that lives in area of Tianjin city peace is all the time and the son of on 5 grade communicated and pained. The teacher that origin is school of before two days of children reflects the problem that the child is in the school to fight often to her. After coming home, this wanting that talk well with the child, the word of whose expect child is little and little, the appearance of a pair of muddle through one's work, then Ms. Zhang of heart of urgent fire attack starts work hit the child. Cannot think of, she wants to talk with the child again, the child is silent as the grave.
The reporter understands in interview, in real life, a lot of parents long to be communicated with the child euqally with Ms. Zhang, but often things go contrary to one's wishes. To this, the teaching and research section of division of Tianjin city peace that seeks advice for a long time from thing children mental health teachs plum of week of the member that grind to point out, the parent and child communicate suffocate suffocate, do not complain the child, the problem is many on parent body. Current, the parent and child communicate existence 5 big errors.

Error one: Much more homiletic, little listen attentively to. When a lot of parents and child chat, consider oneself only " speak out freely " , this is to jamming actually the child's ear or let them shut up, progress goes down to evolve to be the commonnest error - - homiletic. Time grows, the child hopes the desire of communication can be depressed.

Error 2: Like to use strong language. A lot of parents always forget him hard " pedagogue " part, as a result at mixing when the child is communicated, always keep quiet hard, "You want " " you should " " you cannot " wait for a term to often be hanged in mouth edge, the result is the parent talks morer, say a few words that ought not to say more possibly, such, the child lost the will that communicates with the parent gradually.

Error 3: Do not give the child explanatory chance. A lot of parents often do not understand " the child's viewpoint often with adult it is different " this truth, enough patience is lacked when chatting with the child so, they often get angry in the word that did not hear the child, perhaps saying the child to the manner of something or view is fussily, such, the child that cannot get understanding tries very hard to understand to parental pains.

Error 4: Do not understand grasp an opportunity. A lot of parents do not grasp the opportunity that grasps to chat with the child, for example, when the child does a thing dedicatedly, the parent is inserted go in open radio receiving set, or the child just accepted criticism, the mood is not quiet still, the parent thinks " strike while iron is hot " go be being communicated with the child etc, such result, can bring about the child only defy and resent.

Error 5: The self-respect of ignore child. The parent has his principle on certain problem and decision, the opinion that holds to oneself is right, but this is not mean the opinion that should ignore the child. No matter the child's opinion how, let him publish come out at least has two auspicious place: It is the child is asked for to cross an opinion at least, he is met more accept final decision easily; 2 it is this meeting makes the child's proper pride gets satisfaction. A lot of parents are in " crucial " always like on the problem " ban " the child's opinion, this restrained the child and parents to have the desire of communication.
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